Self-Respect VS Egoism
It’s been quite a while since the last
time I wrote my thing in here—blog. Compared to those preceding writings, this
would be a bit different in the form of style of delivering the ideas. It would
be more explicit, even though still I use symbolism as my way of explaining
most of all.
Having a good heart is such a beauty
that almost everyone want to have, but the limitation of the eyes to see the
blind spot makes them think what they want to believe is true is the truth. This
is the small thing that basically is the foundation of any matter spoiling the
supposed-to-be-good heart. One of the issues is when it comes a point whether
you need to be selfless or choose yourself first. I don’t know much about this
actually, but one thing I’m certain about is that self-respect is important.
P.S. this is where people usually misinterpret the self-respect as an egoism or
vice versa.
It won’t come as a problem if it
happens between you and a stranger, you could easily put yourself first, remember
both you and the stranger would not care of each other’s decision probably. It
will be another state of affairs if you deal this thing with someone you love—it
could be your family, your soul mate, your lover, or your close friends. For
me, personally, I kind of stuck sometimes when I have to face this situation.
On one hand, I like to see let’s say my soul mate happy because he has what he
wants, but on the other hand, I also want to be happy because I have what I
want for example. It doesn’t have to be a thing though, it could be time, it
could be others. What should we do then?
After spending an amount of time of contemplation,
well.. not really actually, I think I know the non-zero-sum-game for this
notion. You are allowed to put yourself first, only if no one gets hurt on your
way to achieve it. It sounds simple, yet you’ll find yourself eager to hold
your ego that your mind probably would tell you any reasonable reasons that
what you’re about to do is a self-respect and you deserve it. It would be
really a self-respect if your put-yourself-first decision does not affect
another—especially someone you care.
Let’s change the case the other way
around. Most of us would do anything for those we love and care. It is okay to
be selfless for it is such a sweet thing that one can do, yet we still have to
love and care ourselves even if we do that to show our love and caring. Just don’t
exaggerate it too much I mean. It sounds simple, again, yet you’ll find
yourself thinking that it is okay and you would deny any reasonable reasons
that what you’re about to do is affecting yourself.
In the end, communication is the
best way to bridge the gap. Say it, talk to each other, so that we know each
other’s feeling. Find a good time to have a nice deep conversation. It doesn’t
always have to be planned though, since you’ll have plenty of it unconsciously.
The key is to understand each other. Mostly there will be a need to bend each
other’s principle just to see the way each other see a thing. Only then will
you know by intuition what to do without being bothered whether it is egoism or
else. (Lig)
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